Adhd and greater insight


There is so much unspeakable tragedy in this world so I must point out that my musings only work on a micro personal scale… if you are going through similar feelings. If we climb the ladder of events and emotions they quickly become utterly meaningless and should be scrapped and tossed into the waste paper basket!

This journey I’m on has taken an unexpected twist. I was officially diagnosed yesterday with ADHD. I thought I might lack the ‘hyper’ bit but not. I have a 4 letter acronym usually associated with young bouncy boys but at 53 on the edge of my 54th birthday Ive unearthed a lens that colours everything and if I had known 40 years ago might have smoothed a path full of bumps, dead ends and indecision. 

Or would it? I’m full of mixed emotions, half revelation half shame. 

Might I have been better able to control the wonky bits of my personality… eg impulse control such as telling my best friend she had a slight moustache on the day of her mother’s funeral? (Yes I actually did that.) Or a friend that I was glad to hear he’d finally come out, when bumping into him at the Costa checkout…he denied it (perhaps not wishing to announce it to the collection of strangers in the queue.)

The oversharing that can tumble forth leaving my victim gasping for air! The deadline chasing that had darling Jay helping with my bibliography at 3am in the morning or prising the print shop open to bind my dissertation.

Could I have been a blistering success with medication? Held down relationships with ease. Not depressed people with my depressive tendencies?

Who knows. In fact I’ve probably had to develop an array of creative coping mechanism and anyway you can’t change the past. Something we all know too well. But having said that there is always room for great things like … self awareness, acceptance, discovery, learning. 

I hope to pass some of this good stuff on to my children. Who live in a mighty challenging age but one where I hope neural diversity is better understood, supported, celebrated. 


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